Just now watched a video shared by someone in FB about a brides got killed by 2 thieves in her house just a few days before her wedding. That reminded another client of my wedding planner. She was an expat working in Dubai and the last time my wedding planer in touch with her was on the phone discussing about the wedding happily, and the next was the news of her death from an accident.
Life is so unpredictable and can be very short and shocked. I must say i am a very lucky one among many others in the world. A co-partner told me not long ago: You are such a lucky one, always someone there to assist you! Yes, i am indeed. I am very happy that i have a very supportive family always there to support and assist on everything i do. Even though I've married now and i am living far apart from my beloved family, but we are still very close with each other. We care each other, we love each other and we are always there for each other, whenever, wherever and however we needed help. I am a free-thinker but i must thank God for giving such a lovely family and life to me. Without my mum, i will not be who i am today, without her unlimited support, i will not have what i have achieved as of today.
The next, although i just started my marriage life not long ago, but i am very glad and happy to say that i found someone who really love me and respect me. Somebody who always put you into every considerations before him, somebody who will just be there to support you on whatever you do, encourage you and correct you when it is needed and working very hard to build a better future for the family that going to build by two of us. There is always a reason why a woman will gave up everything she has built, and went to a completely strange and new environment just for a man, everything have to start from zero, be it language, lifestyle, culture and even friend, it is just because - the man worth it.
.....I love you, and thank you for your loves. You are another new lovely, supportive family member the God brought to me.
I am happy and glad,and i appreciate everything i am having now. Nothing come in absolute, we worked for it, we paid for it, and we gained it. Because we love, that's why we are being loved. Happiness come from satisfaction!
Thursday 22 July 2010
Wednesday 30 December 2009
Closure of 2009
As what everybody does, always a closure writing about what they've done, achieved in the year that going to end or they wish-list and to-do-list in the coming new year. Here I am as well!
Looking backward, although i did not make a million in the year 2009; i was not promoted in a company; i did none big project to change the world; that is because i STILL do not have a job.. :P, but I've settled down in NL this piece of land; I've started a new live which was completely strange for me without friends and family and i overcome it with many new friends; I've learned dutch, although not perfect, but i am still pretty proud and happy with it that i managed to speak, write, listen and read relatively good within a very short half year time; I am getting married in less than 2 months time; I've signed prenup with my partner; I am teaching Chinese in a piece of land where not too many people can master this language (feel kinda proud and great as in passing the knowledge to other people); I can cook a lot a lot much better and of course more cuisines now; I've got my dutch driving license; And, I've got a dog - Fleur in NL here... Guess that's all i can recalled, although not big achievement, but it is for me!
There are always plenty of ups and downs in life, it does not matter! I believe after a rain showered, the sun will come out again with a beautiful rainbow. If there is no rain, we will never appreciate the sunny day; If there is no rain, we will never have the chance to see what is a rainbow.
Looking forward to the party on tomorrow at my beloved friend's house and wish we all have a good closure of year 2009 and a good beginning of year 2010 with no (or at least, not much) hangover!
Happy New Year!
Looking backward, although i did not make a million in the year 2009; i was not promoted in a company; i did none big project to change the world; that is because i STILL do not have a job.. :P, but I've settled down in NL this piece of land; I've started a new live which was completely strange for me without friends and family and i overcome it with many new friends; I've learned dutch, although not perfect, but i am still pretty proud and happy with it that i managed to speak, write, listen and read relatively good within a very short half year time; I am getting married in less than 2 months time; I've signed prenup with my partner; I am teaching Chinese in a piece of land where not too many people can master this language (feel kinda proud and great as in passing the knowledge to other people); I can cook a lot a lot much better and of course more cuisines now; I've got my dutch driving license; And, I've got a dog - Fleur in NL here... Guess that's all i can recalled, although not big achievement, but it is for me!
There are always plenty of ups and downs in life, it does not matter! I believe after a rain showered, the sun will come out again with a beautiful rainbow. If there is no rain, we will never appreciate the sunny day; If there is no rain, we will never have the chance to see what is a rainbow.
Looking forward to the party on tomorrow at my beloved friend's house and wish we all have a good closure of year 2009 and a good beginning of year 2010 with no (or at least, not much) hangover!
Happy New Year!
Thursday 26 November 2009
Persistent & Self-confident
The new dutch level - B2 really gives me a big challenge and new experience in my life. This level only started 3 weeks and i was and still am, riding a roller coaster everyday.
My self-confident drop to the lowest point in my life every time when i finished my class, but also rose up again whenever i converse in dutch with Jan and Jan's family. They always give compliments on my dutch improvement with clear pronunciation as well as good grammar, but when i am in this B2 class, i never experience the same compliment.
Within the 6 learning-dutch months, with the understanding of dutch, i am sometimes very impressed with my improvement in this, compare to 6 months ago when this language was still complete new and strange to me. That sort of boost up my confident in it that i am still me, but with the setback once and once given by the new lecturer in class, as well as the doubt from them on my learning ability, i wish i can have a big cry now to ease my wronged feeling. I am completely lost now, i should proud of my improvement as well as my learning ability, or should i ashamed of the incapable in it?
My self-confident drop to the lowest point in my life every time when i finished my class, but also rose up again whenever i converse in dutch with Jan and Jan's family. They always give compliments on my dutch improvement with clear pronunciation as well as good grammar, but when i am in this B2 class, i never experience the same compliment.
Within the 6 learning-dutch months, with the understanding of dutch, i am sometimes very impressed with my improvement in this, compare to 6 months ago when this language was still complete new and strange to me. That sort of boost up my confident in it that i am still me, but with the setback once and once given by the new lecturer in class, as well as the doubt from them on my learning ability, i wish i can have a big cry now to ease my wronged feeling. I am completely lost now, i should proud of my improvement as well as my learning ability, or should i ashamed of the incapable in it?
Tuesday 7 July 2009
Appreciation
Past few days was spending quite some quality time with two new friends i met in my dutch class. One was the exchange student from Japan for her Master degree thesis "Education in Netherlands" also the first Japanese exchange student in NL in her faculty, and the other one was Phd. holder in Literature from Cambridge as well as the Professor in University Utrecht. We talked a lot of things, from crap, to life as an Asian living in the European Country, to the politics, and etc etc. It was really a very quality 2 days we spent together. I really enjoyed the talk with them. They gave me the feeling to feel that i am me again after being out from the "society" so long. Or maybe i make myself feel that i had been left out since being jobless for so long, but good to know that i am still in "it".
Since living here and started my dutch class, i really enjoy making friends from around the world and shares our cultures with each other as well as sharing the thoughts. Maybe being alone as a foreigner in a foreign country will allows each other to click with each other easily. I always feel good when a group of us sitting by the terrace, drinking, chatting and having fun with each other where that table actually consists of the local, the nearby European countries, America, middle east, til SEA nationalities. Yet still in harmony and in fact a lot of fun in it.
That sometimes give me a lot of thought, why there is still war? Why what is happening in XinJiang or Israel now is still occurs? Maybe if there is more people with a little bit more generous and trying to be more understanding as well as giving a little bit more respect to each other, this world will be better.
Anyway, leave that aside, imagine if i am still living in my home country, what improvement in life will I be now? Interesting..
Since living here and started my dutch class, i really enjoy making friends from around the world and shares our cultures with each other as well as sharing the thoughts. Maybe being alone as a foreigner in a foreign country will allows each other to click with each other easily. I always feel good when a group of us sitting by the terrace, drinking, chatting and having fun with each other where that table actually consists of the local, the nearby European countries, America, middle east, til SEA nationalities. Yet still in harmony and in fact a lot of fun in it.
That sometimes give me a lot of thought, why there is still war? Why what is happening in XinJiang or Israel now is still occurs? Maybe if there is more people with a little bit more generous and trying to be more understanding as well as giving a little bit more respect to each other, this world will be better.
Anyway, leave that aside, imagine if i am still living in my home country, what improvement in life will I be now? Interesting..
Thursday 2 July 2009
Summer 2009
What a special summer!
Lately too many of my friends having problem with their life. Not small problem, but real big problem.
Just not long ago, maybe days ago heard one of the friend got a job and that job actually kinda help to solve her fiancee financial problem, was indeed very happy for her and of course after the problem arousing her for quite sometimes, she is all back to the happy and full of crap girl again.
I was very tired last night, first of all, a Japanese friend of mine suddenly kick out by student house personel and was so lost and helpless. And Jan was trying to call up the student house to ask for exception for a pity lonely Japanese in NL but still not acceptable. Finally arranged everything for her and fixed a date and time to pick her up from student house and come to my house to stay till she back. I am very sad for her that she was thinking to spend a little bit longer time in NL before she has to back to Japan, but all these heartless personel make her has to change the flight ticket date to go back almost 3 weeks earlier, what a last "good" impression they gave i was thinking! Anyway, it is good that now her problem is solved though. At least one friend's problem is delisted from my list.
But happy thing seems do not last long in this beginning of summer. Just not more than a minute i was happily thought problem solved, another worse shock came to me. A very very close friend told me, early in the morning, she is leaving her husband! She was MIA for weeks from all of her friends which is not really her things, but due to the summer holiday was approaching and everybody busy finishing the assignments, included she, just thought she was really complete drowned with assignments. although normally she won't be too keen working so hard on her work... a girl that is so independent, strong, confident all the time, suddenly told you that she is completely fxucked up herself, that really scared my axx off with plenty plenty of worries. The more she told me about herself, the more worry it came in me. When the moment i saw she was completely collapsed, lost and helpless, my heart was bleeding and tears was in my heart. I couldn't allow myself to be weak in front of her for a second moment, because she need someone there to be with her and to guide her as well as to consult her. I was glad that she was feeling better and more aware of what she should do and talk to her husband before i leave her. And all the worries was in me the entire evening. But relieved to heard she had a very calm and good talk with her husband and her husband being very supportive and positive with what she want of being alone for a short while.
This morning the first thing came into my mind was how is this friend doing now? Quickly get all the things i supposed to complete in the morning done, and just can't wait to rush to her to assure she is alright with everything. I must say i was so happy for what i seen today from her. I have all the faith and positive that this marriage is going to work out great again very soon! BUT..... again happy thing never last long in this beginning of summer.
Another message came in, same as just the relief of a problem of friend solved, after maybe not even one minute, another friend said her husband just walked out from the 9 years marriage! I am completely burn out now from all the none stop problems happened in my friends! I hope there is no more coming in after this! I feel very very sad to see these happened on my friends. Please.. really no more! This summer holiday supposed to be a boring holiday for me before i back to my home country.. although i know i complaint about how am i going to pass through this boring holiday, and now i rather to get back the boring holiday instead of all the drama happens in my friends!
Lately too many of my friends having problem with their life. Not small problem, but real big problem.
Just not long ago, maybe days ago heard one of the friend got a job and that job actually kinda help to solve her fiancee financial problem, was indeed very happy for her and of course after the problem arousing her for quite sometimes, she is all back to the happy and full of crap girl again.
I was very tired last night, first of all, a Japanese friend of mine suddenly kick out by student house personel and was so lost and helpless. And Jan was trying to call up the student house to ask for exception for a pity lonely Japanese in NL but still not acceptable. Finally arranged everything for her and fixed a date and time to pick her up from student house and come to my house to stay till she back. I am very sad for her that she was thinking to spend a little bit longer time in NL before she has to back to Japan, but all these heartless personel make her has to change the flight ticket date to go back almost 3 weeks earlier, what a last "good" impression they gave i was thinking! Anyway, it is good that now her problem is solved though. At least one friend's problem is delisted from my list.
But happy thing seems do not last long in this beginning of summer. Just not more than a minute i was happily thought problem solved, another worse shock came to me. A very very close friend told me, early in the morning, she is leaving her husband! She was MIA for weeks from all of her friends which is not really her things, but due to the summer holiday was approaching and everybody busy finishing the assignments, included she, just thought she was really complete drowned with assignments. although normally she won't be too keen working so hard on her work... a girl that is so independent, strong, confident all the time, suddenly told you that she is completely fxucked up herself, that really scared my axx off with plenty plenty of worries. The more she told me about herself, the more worry it came in me. When the moment i saw she was completely collapsed, lost and helpless, my heart was bleeding and tears was in my heart. I couldn't allow myself to be weak in front of her for a second moment, because she need someone there to be with her and to guide her as well as to consult her. I was glad that she was feeling better and more aware of what she should do and talk to her husband before i leave her. And all the worries was in me the entire evening. But relieved to heard she had a very calm and good talk with her husband and her husband being very supportive and positive with what she want of being alone for a short while.
This morning the first thing came into my mind was how is this friend doing now? Quickly get all the things i supposed to complete in the morning done, and just can't wait to rush to her to assure she is alright with everything. I must say i was so happy for what i seen today from her. I have all the faith and positive that this marriage is going to work out great again very soon! BUT..... again happy thing never last long in this beginning of summer.
Another message came in, same as just the relief of a problem of friend solved, after maybe not even one minute, another friend said her husband just walked out from the 9 years marriage! I am completely burn out now from all the none stop problems happened in my friends! I hope there is no more coming in after this! I feel very very sad to see these happened on my friends. Please.. really no more! This summer holiday supposed to be a boring holiday for me before i back to my home country.. although i know i complaint about how am i going to pass through this boring holiday, and now i rather to get back the boring holiday instead of all the drama happens in my friends!
Wednesday 10 June 2009
Swimming
Lately re-watches an old TVB drama series which is about swimming. From kid i was already a big water sports lover, any sports relates to water i will always wanted to learn and master the skills. I remember i started to learn swimming when i was 10 years old (if not mistaken) together with my brother and a tenant in a sport central at Malaysia. Since then swimming became a very serious sport for me. This drama series give me another stronger passion to swim better and faster with all the techniques been mentioned in the show. Tried it today, well, it really works but maybe stamina not too good, so only managed to swim 5 laps and needed the rest in order to fulfil my everytime quota in swimming.
Water... give me the very calm and relax feeling whenever i am under the water. The World become so peaceful! Especially when it is in the under world while diving, i feel so tiny like living in an aquarium. The picture it gave is like a diver's ornament in a sea water aquarium with plenty of rocks (walls) surrounded by all the fishes and i was the ornament!
Gosh, i miss diving and i want to dive in very soon!!!
Water... give me the very calm and relax feeling whenever i am under the water. The World become so peaceful! Especially when it is in the under world while diving, i feel so tiny like living in an aquarium. The picture it gave is like a diver's ornament in a sea water aquarium with plenty of rocks (walls) surrounded by all the fishes and i was the ornament!
Gosh, i miss diving and i want to dive in very soon!!!
Saturday 6 June 2009
Life update
Sometimes reading back the blog of mine, which actually reminds me about my thought for certain moments, and which included how i grows from time to time.
Today's weather is very good, around 16 degree Celsius. I loves weather like this, with a little sunshine and some wind. Hope every day like this weather then everyday is good day. But if everyday is a good day, would you know what is "better"? Like what my partner always say: During Spring, there is always 2 days good weather and then the rest of the days would be shitty weathers; So when the arrival of Summer, you will fully appreciate the sun everyday.
Last time i always tease at people, especially old ones. All they talk everyday besides weather, still weather. But living in such a shitty weather country, i suddenly realized i becoming one of them who can't live without complaining the weather. Maybe this is just what you can't escape when you are here. Sigh..
Lately started to learn how to cook Chinese food, which have to thank for a blogger who keep posting her recipe on her blog, and the recipe mostly are all the food you can easily get in Malaysia. After all the experiments, the outcome was pretty impressive i have to say! Now my cravings in food is lesser i think.
Looking back a year ago before living in Indonesia, i don't even know how to cook the simplest food - fried rice (which is bit ashamed though). Every guai lou expect i can cook Chinese food, but all i can tell them was " Sorry, i don't know how to cook Chinese, only western cuisine" .. Malunya! :) Anyway, i am better now as how my dutch learning going. Elke dag een beetje beter dan elke dag!
Oh.. was very happy and sort of proud of myself with my dutch improvement. Within 6 weeks time, i can actually express myself in dutch with proper sentence and daily conversation as doing pretty good with my partner at home too. Got quite a lot of praise from many people, one of the classmate actually thinks i am the best student in class, and also my future FIL said my pronunciation is very dutch, without the trace of a non-dutch way of speaking (which is what he mean by the "g" and "r"). Really very happy with all those compliments! When you worked really hard on something and you got some very possible feedbacks, that always feel like drinking free cocktails all night long - the 3H - Hyper Happy High!!!
Today's weather is very good, around 16 degree Celsius. I loves weather like this, with a little sunshine and some wind. Hope every day like this weather then everyday is good day. But if everyday is a good day, would you know what is "better"? Like what my partner always say: During Spring, there is always 2 days good weather and then the rest of the days would be shitty weathers; So when the arrival of Summer, you will fully appreciate the sun everyday.
Last time i always tease at people, especially old ones. All they talk everyday besides weather, still weather. But living in such a shitty weather country, i suddenly realized i becoming one of them who can't live without complaining the weather. Maybe this is just what you can't escape when you are here. Sigh..
Lately started to learn how to cook Chinese food, which have to thank for a blogger who keep posting her recipe on her blog, and the recipe mostly are all the food you can easily get in Malaysia. After all the experiments, the outcome was pretty impressive i have to say! Now my cravings in food is lesser i think.
Looking back a year ago before living in Indonesia, i don't even know how to cook the simplest food - fried rice (which is bit ashamed though). Every guai lou expect i can cook Chinese food, but all i can tell them was " Sorry, i don't know how to cook Chinese, only western cuisine" .. Malunya! :) Anyway, i am better now as how my dutch learning going. Elke dag een beetje beter dan elke dag!
Oh.. was very happy and sort of proud of myself with my dutch improvement. Within 6 weeks time, i can actually express myself in dutch with proper sentence and daily conversation as doing pretty good with my partner at home too. Got quite a lot of praise from many people, one of the classmate actually thinks i am the best student in class, and also my future FIL said my pronunciation is very dutch, without the trace of a non-dutch way of speaking (which is what he mean by the "g" and "r"). Really very happy with all those compliments! When you worked really hard on something and you got some very possible feedbacks, that always feel like drinking free cocktails all night long - the 3H - Hyper Happy High!!!
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