Leaving

Finally the location is set at Banjarmasin, South Kalimantan. Finally i am officially leaving the country to live together with my man and away from my family. Although still possible to come back as often as i like, for example once a month or so. But, this time is different! I am leaving for the sake of living together and start a family with him (of course no baby in the plan yet, still want to do more diving!) but not like going back to Holland for a month or two and then come back for a month or two and then go again.

A bit surprised that i don't really have any hard feeling or maybe been leaving the home very often, traveling here and there, and know that mum is anytime coming to visit at Banjar or i will go back on and off for the sake of shopping, or ease of boredom or for the business perhaps. But still feels bit sad of course, and in the mean time exciting too (duh!).

It is now another chapter again for our life. With a lot of hope and believe that we can make it pretty well. Maybe from the way of living together and traveling together gives the confident to me. People always say: Travel together is the best way to judge how well a couple can live together. In fact we both enjoyed travel together a lot and we had plenty of fun. Kinda looking forwards it, wondering how is the place look like; how will our house like; what will i do there; what kind of friends can i make there; how much will i enjoy there; and of course the dream coming true finally for living together with him. Been 3 years, all plans kept changing and all sort of disappointments. The harder to get it, the more you appreciate it! Isn't?

About friends... When the time he was in KL, he kept asking me to go out with all my friends. He said why i don't like to go out and hang around with all my friends anymore. Past time i meet them like almost every alternate day, but why not now anymore? I think the reason we don't hang out as often as last time is because.. people keep grows! When we grows, our lifestyle keep changes aligned. Now there is the busy with dating and marrying, there is the busy with work, there is the busy with struggling life decision, and there is the busy with everything forever. When everyone has their own business to busy about, and that caused the possibility of scheduling time together is lowered. So, that is why we don't meet as often as last time anymore.

Glad to see everyone grows to a better way. Finally she is marrying to someone who is really good and nice; finally she is fully dedicated herself to the work; finally she know what is what she need to do and search for her future happiness and commitments and willing to let go of her current life; but lastly, she was the most dedicated person to her life but she became the most lost in her live. She used to has the mission and vision in her life, but because of someone who abandoned all her dedication, she loosed all her time and lost herself. Hope she can find back herself in the soonest time. God bless!

And same goes to me, i grown and i found the destination in the 3rd chapter of my life. I am very happy with it and i know my family happy with it very much too. He is the one and he is all i was looking. Thank you!

Lately..

Lately when i received some sms from someone whom didn't meet up for more than a month, the first thing in the text is : How are you? Where are you now? In Malaysia?.. and then it will follow by another same question: When are you leaving?

Well, been getting used to the question, so i have my way to answer too : of course! But don't know when leaving and where to. Just go with the flow and everywhere is my home!

I wish i could have an answer too. But I really don't know where will i be. Used to plan a lot together, but the more we plan, the more changes it seems. So now we learned to just live with it. When the least expectation we are, the higher hope we fulfilled.

Many people envy a lot about this kind of lifestyle. Maybe before this i was one of them. But by last i realized it is just not that great as you imagined. At least i can't plan on what i can do (career), i cannot plan anything longer than 2 months, thus i have to look for a lot of things to entertain myself to not get bored in life! I will not say i don't enjoy, i don't like. Indeed it is the best life every women out there looking for. And a lot of them might not even have it in their whole life. So i appreciates it and i am happy with it, only if i could have something to fill up my time that will be the best!

Always agree with what my mum's life philosophy: Satisfaction brings happiness! When you satisfied with what you are having, then only you will appreciate the true happiness in it. I am satisfied with what i am having now, that is why i am enjoying my life! Of course all i am enjoying at this moment brought by my family and my other half. Thank you!

The day is getting nearer

The day to be together again is getting nearer. From the day we apart started to count to the day to be together again. Been a routine for me almost 3 years now. Every time when almost the week to be apart will think: well, only 2 months, and thank God in this coming 2 months have plenty of plans to do. So strongly believe this 2 months can past easily.

Can spend 2 weeks fully on holiday, 2 weeks in hanging out with friends, 2 weeks going around with mum, 2 weeks left for being alone. Time wouldn't be that bad though. But the fact isn't like this. Because no matter what i do during the time he is working abroad, the time i miss him and wanted to be with him is countless. Although i might be full of plans during the apart period, but i still miss him and wish he could be with me. So... i realized i was lying myself!

Only 3 days left then we are together again. But I've been telling myself and counting down the day from the first day already : only 8 weeks, only 7 weeks, only 6 weeks, only a month, only a week... But nothing to be deny, i am very looking forward the day to come as soon as it can. But the weirdest thing is, every time when there is only 7 days left, the time just seems stuck up there and 7 days just as long as 7 weeks. Why huh?

Very happy finally is his turn to come to Malaysia instead of i going to Holland. Well, going to Holland isn't bad at all. At least another chance to travel to another new Europe country and of course my bag's shopping spree! So Malaysia or Holland actually makes no difference to me, but there is for my family and friends in Malaysia. For my family, he is part of the member and of course everyone at home miss him a lot and wanted to meet him, especially my mum. I am really very glad my family loves him a lot. Holidaying in Malaysia might not be a good decision for his family. That day he just told me his family complaint about the decision for coming to Malaysia. I knew who is the one, although being fully aware she is pretty bossy to all the siblings, especially him. But still i feel angry and unhappy with it. Been continuously back to Holland for holiday 2 times, why being so selfish? What if that is her husband? what if her husband's family don't like she go back to her own house with her husband? What will her own family member think if they never got a chance to meet their son-in-law in more than half a year? Keeping this for myself but not sharing with him, because i can understand the feeling of positioning between family and the other half. Of course i don't blame her for being selfish, maybe if i was her, i will complain about it to him. Or maybe i won't but keeping it to myself or just express the dislike to my other half. I don't want my brother to feel guilty! And congratulates her, she make her brother feeling extremely guilty!

Can't wait for the day to come and to travel together with the holiday plans I've planned. There is a surprise trip arranged by me though. I believe he will really love to see more about Chinese culture and to know more about Chinese. So the surprise trip would be the first destination for him to learn about it! And can't forget and left behind the Redang trip. Finally i will travel there and get my scuba diving license. This is one of the dream and thing i wanted to do for so long. And of course very looking forward relaxing by the beach with him, starring at the stars in the sky at night and listen to the wave. That is always the best holiday for me!

Very nervous indeed. Last holiday couldn't give him any "holiday". Feels very guilty. Hopefully all the places in my mind that i plan to bring him to can come true this time. Miss him a lot!

LOVE and ROMANTIC

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore can

Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you

A song which i personally love it a lot by Nat King Cole, which has a very meaningful lyrics written by Milt Gabler and music by Bert Kaempfert.

What is romantic?

Romantic doesn't mean to have a very expensive candle light dinner; doesn't need to travel to Europe (for Asians) or Asia (for Europeans); never need a Tiffany & Co. gift, or Louis Vuitton bags, or a big bungalow nor a dream car of yours to be given.

A whispering of how much you mean to him; how much he love you; how much he needed you in his entire life; how you completed he; and when you tell him how much you envy at him for all the achievements he made, and the reply from him is: "You don't have to honey, because these are all yours too. Without you, everything is meaningless!" Or when you ask him anything he needed to buy while telling him to pampered himself a little after working so hard, he say: "I don't need anything, all i want is to see you happy. I rather spend the money i earned hardly on you to make you happy instead."

Lying next to each other, planning the future together, discussing how to build the family of us together, cuddle tightly with all the love and care; having a man who care how much you enjoyed in the holiday instead of how much had spent in the holiday; someone who willing to sacrificed the job he love just to be with you; keep figuring out how to live together; changing himself with all the attitudes you couldn't bear with; calling you or messaging you in the middle of work just to tell you he miss you and how much he love you; dreaming of you and to be assure in the mid of his sleep that you are sleeping next to him; giving the most lovable smile with the morning greeting with his love when the moment you opened your eyes; telling how beautiful you are and supporting you whenever and whatever you do; full trust and believe in you; and nevertheless the shoulder to be there for you whenever you needed and the chest that gives you the feeling of secureness. That is the romantic you gives me! And this is all the romantic i asked for and you'd given and gives still. That makes my love for you never stop because you are the one.

Just a sincere eyes contact and telling how much you love me and want me to be in your future life from your true heart, that is the very romantic scenario for me. No ring needed, no flower needed, no candle light dinner needed, nothing i need, because all i need is the words truly from your heart and the commitment you willing to make, and that will make it a "yes"! or maybe a romantic song as background music would be nice ;)

Although i might not have a perfect family, but i know we will build a perfect and happy family together,because i have faith in you and after all, you are the one all i needs and wants!

True Love, Don't wait

Very interesting article found in Chinese version. Translated it into English to share with everyone.

He is very clearly aware she is inappropriate for him, but more definite is, he cannot say on own for break-up. He only keep waiting, until one day his girlfriend cannot bear it any longer. Instead of waiting until the old age still unable to make the decision, she'd chosen to leave this relationship on her own choice. Her left is on her own initiative, He think: I am not heartless, instead I am respecting your decision sincerely.

After half a year, she discovered that he married with one only met for 3 month-long. That makes her bolt from the blue and understood that he just never want to marry her, but not doesn't want a marriage in his life. Eight years love cannot compare with three months sentiments.

After six months married with the one, he realized the one he married actually predecessored his girlfriend. He is very sad and only then understood he likes this type of girl, which is like the girlfriend he gave up earlier on.

Human being often very contradictory, likes her stubbornness with the disposition, but cannot bear the indulgent; likes her graceful, but cannot bear her piles of friend; loves her tenderness, so do not blame she is not sporting enough; loves her way of lively, then do not criticize she flirt like a bitch.

The longer the relationship goes, the lower the possibility for the marriage. Therefore, sometimes the love length and the marriage possibility is in reverse proportion.

Fickle in the affection is the nature of human. When the day has been long, married might not be for love anymore, but is the sense of responsibility obligation.

After the marriage with his wife, then only he slowly discovered the relationship with his girlfriend were not because the love was not there, but just the love had been faded by time. The moment he found another new love from his wife, the passion of love enlighten up again immediately therefore decided to married hastily.

Until finally he married sometime after, when the love faded slowly time to time, then he slowly discover his wife actually has many predecessors of his girlfriend, but the one he love the most by the end is his girlfriend, and she isn't his wife.

Is such plot also similarly performing in elsewhere?

School days love is very pure, after graduated always want to wait for work to stable then only marry after; work stable later then want to wait to have a savings to buy the vehicle, to buy the house and then only to marry, waits to wait, when love is given by the time wears down, when the third party involved, and regret is unbearable. Once in young with all the vows, the dreams, the ideals, all gone before manage to go through all the challenges and seductiveness in life. Therefore, the one who walk the aisle with you normally is not the one who shared all the joys and sorrows, and has experienced the winter and summer together with you.

Hereby advises politely to the fellow girls, if he is really the one you wants to marry, do not have to wait until he has the house, vechicle and gold then only marry to him. The reality is, waited until him has all of these, he will become a very attractive and capable man, eventually he will face more enticements in life. The long waiting and promises with the pledge of eternal love will have to face the unresistable enticement challenges.

If now does not marry him, when the time he fulfilled everything he'd been chasing after in his life, the bride had extremely high possibility is not you.

Man with ability is alike the longer the wine, the mellower it is, whereas the woman is like the fresh bread with expired date, the time is the biggest enemy of woman.

If i were him, when i reached my 35 years old with the value worth more than ten million dollars' bachelors, i will not need a capable woman over 30 years old to assist me. I would rather choose a young pretty girl, perhaps does not have working ability, but with all a girl should have to admired by men to be envy at me. A truly capable man would not care about how much a woman can assist him to gain more wealth.

When you've met your Mr.Right, do not wait until the love faded by time. Maybe he does not have a house nor a car, as long as he progresses earnestly, he will be a rising star one day.

Also reminds fellow gentlemen, if she is the Miss Right you wants to dote on well, do not let her wait too long, has her to accompany you to struggle together is a very happy matter unless in your heart has other ideas, otherwise do not let love abrasion by time.

Although it sounds very cruel, by there are plenty of similar experiences happened at your family and friends.

If he/she is the one, then just don't wait anymore, unless you just does not want to marry!